they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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