her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Randomize
