why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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