We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
