Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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