"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
