hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
