Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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