Are we in a gay sports bar?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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