so explain again why im purple
no
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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