Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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