I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
