the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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