I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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