Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I am naked and annoyed.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
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