I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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