Three words: puerto rican gang bang
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
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