I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
