oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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