That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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