I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
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