4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Randomize
