So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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