I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
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