I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
