the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
