i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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