i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Everything about him screamed your future.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
