You made me cry and you don't even care
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
