i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Randomize
