when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
