After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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