Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
Randomize
