This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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