I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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