why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
