"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
