Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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