You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Randomize
