We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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