those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
