just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
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