If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
