They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
