Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Randomize
