hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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