I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
