He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
