Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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