PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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