At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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