I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Small penises have feelings too.
please come you make the beer taste better
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
