can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
