Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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