out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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