EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Are my feet made of real feet?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
