We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
